Self Confidence vs. Self Loathing

It seems that my self confidence is in an epic battle with my self loathing.  Everyday it is a toss up as to which one of them is going to win out.  I've contemplated a lot on why I am so hard on myself.  Why I feel this need to criticize and pick apart my body, my actions, my thoughts.  When self loathing is winning it spirals into negativity in every single aspect of my existence.  I have negative colored glasses on and couldn't pick out something positive if it bit me on the nose, that's how much this takes over my life.  I've read a lot about gratitude and how expressing gratitude changes perception.  I've tried to start a Gratitude Journal, but as with most of my keeping track habits, it hasn't lasted.  It's obvious I need to bring a more positive vibe into my life, but at the same time it has to be in a way that is authentic to me.  Something to ponder for the day.